Every child at some point will encounter a moment when they throw up their hands and say, “I can’t do this!” Whether it's learning to read, solving a tricky math problem, or making new friends, challenges are a natural part of growing up. But how we respond in those moments can shape their resilience and confidence.

Fortunately, research offers us evidence-based strategies to help children work through difficulties and develop a growth mindset. Here are some of the best ways to support them:

1. Normalize the Struggle: Children sometimes think they’re the only ones who find things hard. Remind them that challenges are part of learning. Share stories of famous figures—like how Thomas Edison failed 1,000 times before inventing the light bulb or how Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Encourage your children to use the word "yet" when they say they can’t do something. Instead of “I can’t do this,” they can say, “I can’t do this YET.”

2. Praise Effort, Not Just Talent: Studies show that children who are praised for effort rather than ability are more likely to persevere. Instead of saying, “You’re so smart!” try “You worked really hard on that, and it paid off!” This teaches them that success comes from effort, not just natural talent. Use specific praise like, “I love how you kept trying different ways to solve that problem!”

3. Break It Down into Small Steps: Big tasks can feel overwhelming. Help children by breaking challenges into smaller, manageable steps. Research suggests that small successes build confidence and motivation. If a child is struggling with reading a book, have them start with a page or a paragraph at a time instead of the whole book.

4. Teach Problem-Solving Skills: Instead of rushing in to fix problems for children, guide them through the process of finding solutions. Asking open-ended questions helps them think critically. Ask, “What’s one thing you could try to make this easier?” or “Have you faced something like this before? What helped?”

Struggles are stepping stones to success. By using these effective practices with our children—we can help them face challenges with confidence and resilience. After all, learning isn’t about never failing—it’s about getting back up and trying again!